Florida Vacation - Jun 4, '00

We survived - more or less.

To bring you all up to date, with our time-share we can earn "bonus weeks" to use for additional vacations. The bonus week is limited to a "chart", listing the areas of the world and time of the year which are available for use of the "bonus week". Originally we assumed that we could schedule the bonus week up to a year in advance - an assumption based on the sales pitch which turns out to be fraudulent. We never were able to get an advance bonus reservation anywhere, on or off of the chart. The other thing about a bonus week is that we only have 12 months in which to use it. So as we approached the last two weeks prior to the expiration of our last bonus, on a lark I called to see if we could use it in Orlando (on the chart) before it expired - surprise, they had plenty of places for us. 

There were a few problems to be overcome, 1) my company normally wants more than two weeks to approve a vacation request and 2) have you tried to get reasonably priced airline tickets for travel in less than two weeks? Needless to say, the company let me go and we were able to find some cheap tickets, although that meant flying the "red eye" home. We arrived home last night around 2:00AM - wonderful! - but I am getting ahead of myself.

We departed for the theme-park capital of the world two Saturdays ago. If you have ever traveled with Sharon or her mother, you know that failure to get to the airport at least an hour early is a life threatening situation - in this case the Airporter had us there in plenty of time, more than 1 1/2 hour early. We walked into the airport to find our flight would be delayed about an hour. It seems that the crew had been delayed getting into Phoenix the night before and they have a regulation which requires them to get a minimum amount of rest before starting to work the next day. We lounged around the airport for 2 1/2 hours while they snoozed - an ominous omen of things to come. Of course we were concerned about making our connection in St Louis since the layover only allowed about an hour between our connecting flights. The ticket agent assured us that our connecting flight would also be delayed because of the inclement weather in the country's heartland, therefore we would have ample time to make connections.

Someone needs to pass a "truth in travel" law, requiring all agents in the travel industry to wink when they are lying - can you imagine the eye-lid muscles some of these people would develop? Fortunately the flight crew on the 1st leg of our trip was able to make up some time. But none-the-less, as we disembarked from our 1st plane we learned that our connecting flight was leaving "on time" and we only had about 18 minutes to run for it - we needed 15 minutes to run from one concourse to the other, so we made it with 2-3 minutes to spare. Thinking of Susan's bag in Hawaii as we were the last to board the jet way, I commented to the TWA agent that at least we made it - though our bag surely wouldn't. "Oh no sir, your bags will make the plane without a problem!" (Where's the wink?) 

The bag was a no-show. There was nothing more that we could do other than put in the claim and then go pickup the rental car. Guess what, my license is expired - they weren't about to rent the car to me. Finally, Sharon came to the rescue and signed for the car - after telling everyone within ear-shot that she had no intention of driving in a strange city. Of course when you reserve a car you always get an estimate for the week's rental - our's was to be about $186 plus taxes. Just before Sharon signed the contract we noticed that the rental agreement was for $450+. We managed to get most of the extras off of the contract and got the price down to within $20 - 25 of what we had expected. When you deal with people in the travel industry on the phone, they ought to have to ring a chime each time they are about to lie to you. Some of the phone calls might sound like a poorly conducted symphony.

The instructions to the condo said to follow the signs, "To the Attractions", out of the airport and to take expressway 528 to exit #3. Sounds easy enough - unless you miss a sign, which I did, and end up going North down on the streets rather than going East up on the expressway. After a couple of miles we got straightened out and returned to the expressway. In Florida, Expressway is another word for Toll-road. We had to stop at two toll plazas and pay $1.25 to travel 4 miles!!! The rest of the trip to the condo was uneventful, except that we were tried, hungry and were without clothes or toiletries - some seasoned travelers, huh. Sharon had noticed a major discount department store (the"big W") just before we got to the condo, so after checking in we returned there for the essentials - upper scale, seasoned travelers we're not. We also found a nearby restaurant for a late steak supper. So ended the 1st day of our adventure to the land of living swamps.

I won't continue to bore you with the each day's details, but a short version follows for those of you who have not yet discovered the joy of the delete key on your keyboard.

Sunday - day #1 - We plan to start out slowly - after getting up late and having breakfast, we venture a few miles down the road to Gator-Land. Hundreds of creeping crawlies and birds galore - hot and humid. Actually a good choice for the first day. But with the heat and humidity, Sharon insists on returning to the "big W". for a complete change of clothes - again we eat at the steakhouse and take the extra rolls home - they were great. On the way back to the condo, we stopped at the check-in counter and find that our bag has arrived - the precautionary shopping was for naught. Sharon notices some smoke nearby which we later learned eventually turned out to be a major conflagration.

Monday, Memorial Day - day #2 - We both were sicker than dogs - stayed in the condo trying not to die in a foreign land. We only went out for saltines, bread and 7-UP - our sole sustenance for the day. (Eventually we would throw out the rolls from the steak house - couldn't even think about eating them.)

Tuesday - Day #3 - Rejoining the land of the living - sort of - we plan another easy day - drive 50 miles on the expressway to the Kennedy Space Center - everyone who lived through the launches of the 60s should go see it. I enjoyed it - Sharon was less enthused than I expected. The tolls are killer - I vow to find a way to beat the system.

Wednesday - Day #4 - Time to get with it - We came to see EPCOT Center, so off to EPCOT we go. We have to drive through the smoke and ash to get there. Could smell the smoke all day but it didn't really bother us once we got to the park. Had a great time, but for meals we are sharing single sandwiches and finding that we are still eating too much. Its hot and Sharon turns bright red - periodically we go on the rides to get inside long enough to cool her down. No Tolls paid!

Thursday - Day #5 - Magic Kingdom - At EPCOT we purchased the two park, two day, Disney pass - then we couldn't make up our minds which other park to go see, so we settled on MK for the second day. This place is crowded and knee deep in kids yet the "season" has not started! One might ask what a pair of grandparents were doing there alone in the middle of a kidee's playground? Why it was a scouting trip naturally - would you believe Alex in the summer of 2006? Still could smell the smoke - there was a couple of very brief showers - we were inside and missed them both. I had been averaging about 40 picture a day but only shot 7 here. No Tolls paid and we are still sharing a single meal! The walking is starting to kill me - I think I have ground two inches of leg bone off at the hips.

Friday - Day #6 - Sea World - Drove through the convention center to get there - that was a hoot - someone actually built a building to look like it had been tipped upside down. Another was tilted way over like it was sinking on one side (Mexico City style). We spent our longest day at S.W. - I took about 95 pictures. Sharon got to see the Clydesdales and we saw the three main shows - Porpoises, Seals and Killer Whales. Sharon didn't make an attempt to touch the Clydesdales but did stick her hand under the water to touch the sting-rays - they're slimy rascals. Had a great time - saw most of the attractions. Not much change in our eating habits and the smoke is better as they seem to be getting the fire contained.

Saturday - Day #7 and travel day - You know I had to take Sharon to at least two quilting stores - so I did. We checked out of the condo and then traveled through the seedy part of town to north Orlando, where she visited a small un-interesting store. Next we headed down to Kissimmee (south) to a great store - even I recognized it as above average. She was in there for hours, so finally I had to find a guy thing to do - I went to the swimming pool store at the end of the building. The day was poorly planned - we had so much extra time that we spent nearly two hours in a Barnes Noble and still got to the airport 2 hours before our flight. Finally we're buying our own meals and I ended up paying one $0.50 toll.

By the time they are ready to board our plane, I am completely out of patience and good humor. The guy at the gate announced that in Orlando, people with small children are not allowed to pre-board - because nearly everyone in the terminal except Sharon and I has at least one small child with them. At last he calls for the 1st class section and the frequent flyers. About 5 or 6 people pre-board. He then waits nearly ten minutes before calling the next group. No, he did not call for the usual group in the back of the plane, not at all, instead he calls for the people seated in the emergency exit rows of 26, 16 and 8. Again, we wait another 10 minutes while ONE guy boards the plane. I don't know what the hold up was - maybe they gave the guy a physical to be sure he could handle the job. Meanwhile, I'm going nuts - we are supposed to leave in five minutes and the guy at the gate has managed to board a grand total of 6 to 8 people in 20 minutes - I can see another connection going down the drain.

After we finally all get boarded, the pilot gets on the intercom and says that we will be departing 25 minutes late because of a "problem with the boarding" - well duh - but that we will be able to make up most of the time. Actually they did better than that and we arrived in St. Louis nearly on time - no connection problems this time. Well, no problem that is except, our next plane has a brake problem which shouldn't take long to fix - if they can find the part - they do but it holds us up for 45 minutes. Over the intercom, the pilot explains that not only are we 45 minutes late in starting but that head winds will slow us down another 15 minutes - making us one hour late into Phoenix. But at least we arrive together with our bag.

The rest is history and we are home recuperating from our vacation. We had a great time!!! Next stop is Colorado for Sharon and Hawaii in August for both of us. We have plenty of room (for four more) for anyone inclined to travel with us to check on the veracity of my postmortems.

Love from Sharon and Shorty.